My Heart Is Yours
by reekaL0VE
Summary: Paul does something that becomes unforgivable. Jaylene moves back to New York with her father and without his imprint Paul becomes the volatile and bitter werewolf. But when fate decides to intervene, can their love overcome their past? Paul/OC.
1. Prologue

**I really didn't like what I did with _My Reason Is You_ so I'm making a new story. Same plot and characters but I changed the time line. The first half of the story will be pre-Twilight and the other half is after Breaking Dawn.**

**Summary: Jaylene leaves LaPush after a misunderstanding between her and Paul leads him to do something completely unforgivable. She moves back to New York with her father and Paul becomes the volatile and bitter werewolf. But when fate decides to intervene, is their love strong enough to deserve a second chance**?

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Stephenie Meyers series.**

GOODBYE

Paul's POV:

I turned into a cold and heartless monster. A man without any reason to receive happiness nor be worthy of any woman's love, when the only love I ever needed walked away from what we had.

But I couldn't blame her, no. It was my fault, it always was.

Her departure finally made me realize how much she meant to me; but it was too late. She was gone and I didn't even know if she was ever going to come back.

She was my entire reason for living, for breathing, for walking on this god-forsaken earth. She was my angel in disguise, the only girl who saved me from myself whenever I felt the world begin to crumble at my feet. My everything…and she left.

I looked around at her once lively and cluttered room only to find the massive round space cleared of everything. The fully stocked walk-in closet was left with nothing but different colored hangers and a few shirts and jeans. The grand mahogany vanity that sat next to her closet was emptied out leaving an empty mirror with a lonely man looking back at it; the man was me.

I scouted her bathroom and nothing stayed but a hairbrush. I finally looked towards her bed to find her midnight blue silk comforters and pillows still there with a white piece of paper nestled in-between them.

Walking frantically towards the bed I took the envelope and looked at the front.

Paul. It wrote in her neat handwriting.

In my haste to open up the letter, something fell out. I looked down at the bed where the thing lay only to find the diamond encrusted promise ring I gave to her, looking back at me.

Taking it in my hands, I felt the tears begin to cloud around my eyes. It was a symbol that promised her I would love her forever and never leave her. But finding the ring in my hands instead of hers, I already knew that the promise was broken.

I grasped the letter in my other hand, as I wiped away the tears that escaped with the back of my other one holding the ring, and began to read the letter.

_Dear Paul,_

_How can I promise my love to you when it seems you can't return the same feelings? How could you even look me in the eyes when all along the words you've told me were lies? You lied to me Paul. And yet when I confronted you about it, you came up with no excuse, no answer and no explanations. 17 years of memories, of love, of laughs, and tears. And yet, you manage to throw it all away with a simple misunderstanding._

_What you did was unforgivable, shameful, and heartbreaking. Just the thought of it is bringing tears to my eyes. I didn't need a ring to tell me you cared and loved me; I just needed you to show it to me. Show me how much I mattered to you, show me where I stand in your world._

_But, that doesn't seem like it would matter anymore would it?_

_I love you Paul and even after all that you've put me through I sincerely mean it. You will always hold a piece of my heart and as much I don't want you to, you always will._

_Maybe one day, when fate has shown us that you are worthy of any type of love that, we will find our way back to each other. But until that day has come and you finally learn to love, this is my goodbye._

_Jaylene._

After seeing the tear-stained letter and her name written on the bottom, I kneeled down by her bedside, the tears spilling over.

There was nothing left to do but cry.

**Uhm reviews?**


	2. By Your Side

**IMPORTANT A/N:** It's kinda important that you guys read my note in the beginning because I basically give a background of what the chapter is going to be like and what you can expect. So if you just quickly start reading the chapters you might get confused so just read my note first!

**This chapter begins six months before Paul found the letter.** It's basically giving you the whole background of their relationship and why she left. So from this chapter on it will be pre-Twilight. I don't know if I'm going to add in the Cullens and Bella yet. Still contemplating. But because I might need to add some drama in here I think I just might. HAHA! Oh and I will be adding Kim into this story!! Because she does play a MAJORRR role in this story, like major! hahaha.

Okay that's enough, Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Twilight, boo.

By Your Side: by Sade

_"You think I'd leave your side baby  
You know me better than that  
You think I'd leave you down when you're down on your knees  
I wouldn't do that"_

**Six months ago...**

The winter air hung heavy as the grey clouds dominated the sky forcing the sun to cower into the darkness. The snow continued to fall, permanently sticking to the ground as the inches began to pile up. It was a typical December in Washington.

The plane, that was to arrive from New York City to Port Angeles, slowly descended onto the landing strip halting to a stop once it reached the entrance gates to the airport. Families and friends waited anxiously for their loved ones return and celebrate the new year together.

A beautiful copper skinned girl came out from the gate entrance; her long wavy caramel colored hair was piled up in an unruly messy bun, obviously the sign of a long trip. She adjusted her black sweatpants and pulled down her grey pullover hoodie and started to walk past the group of people swarming the entrance. Her midnight blue eyes scanned around the airport, watching families in group hugs and tears streaming down their faces from joy.

She continued walking through the airport looking for any sign that someone remembered to come get her. It was in that moment she heard the voice she'd missed for the past week.

"Jaylene!" the voice yelled.

She turned towards the voices' call and her flawless face broke out in an instant ear-to-ear grin.

It was Paul.

He was wearing baggy grey sweatpants and an over sized winter coat, his hair was wet from the snow falling outside, and yet he still managed to look irresistible. She ran towards him and dropped her carry-on bag to the floor before jumping on him and wrapping her legs around his torso and snaking her thin arms around his neck. He instinctively wrapped both his arms around her waist and nuzzled his nose to her neck breathing in the scent he hadn't smelled in almost a week.

"I missed you baby," Jaylene said she whispered closely in his ear then giving his cheek a small peck.

He pulled away slightly so that he was able to look her in the eyes, "I'm pretty sure I missed you more." With that said he leaned in and gave her a sensuous kiss, completely forgetting about the thousands of other people flocking around the airport, and showed her just how much he really missed her.

Jaylene was the first to pull away as she slowly put her feet down on the ground. Paul grabbed her carry-on and intertwined his right hand with her left. "Come on, let's get you home." He beamed down at her as she blushed slightly and gave him a small peck on the lips.

"Home, I like the sound of that."

* * *

**Jaylene's POV**

We were driving down the highway still hours away from LaPush. I was exhausted from the flight and zoned out a little bit as I looked out my window. The snow covered the smooth road causing Paul to drive slower than he normally did. The snowflakes were piling onto each other as the scenery before me was filled with white.

Being away from Paul for a week was complete and utter torture. I mean sure you may ask, what's seven days without your boyfriend, you'll be fine right? Wrong. Try not breathing in through your nose but instead through your mouth. Yeah, you can manage to do it but eventually you crave that feeling of being able to breathe through your nose again. That's the feeling I get when I didn't get to talk to Paul at all on the phone.

Dancing was my life. Other than singing, it was my forte. I started taking up dancing at the age of 5 when my grandpa thought I needed an escape from the chaotic life she was dealing with at home. And boy was he right. The constant yelling at my house, still etched in my brain. Bitter words and curses were casually thrown around my house like it was a common thing to feel so much hatred towards a person.

Dancing was what I did so I can get away from life, even if it was just for an hour. I didn't mean for my dad to actually get me to audition to one of the most prestigious dancing schools in New York. So for a week straight he set up lessons for me with the most renowned dancers New York had to offer.

"So tell me why you decided to go to New York and leave me?" Paul asked breaking my gaze outside. From the tone of his voice I knew he was teasing but a part of me couldn't help but feel guilty for leaving.

I turned my body so that I was directly looking at him and not out at the window. Tucking my left leg under my right, I let out a sigh. "You know I didn't want to! I can't believe my dad got me that audition to Julliard," I said as I absentmindedly started stroking his forearm which was resting on my knee.

"Did you get in?" Paul hesitated. His body had become tense while he gripped the steering wheel just a little bit too tightly.

I knew why he was acting the way he was. He was scared that I was going to leave and stay in New York. But I promised him that we would finish our senior year together, and that was a promise I intended to keep.

This led to my decision of rejecting the invitation I received, which in the end led to my father completely lashing out at me telling me that I was throwing my future away for the sake of some "stupid teenage crush" as he worded it. He hasn't spoken to me ever since—it has been 3 days. But I understood why he was so mad; no one ever turns down an acceptance into Julliard. People planned their life accordingly so that it revolved around the school.

Julliard was also known to not think so highly of those who rejected their invitation. If you did, then you're basically on their shit-list for oh…FOREVER.

But I couldn't tell Paul that he was the reason why I didn't accept the invitation, he would put all the blame on himself even though the decision was entirely mine. "No, um...some of the girls had a lot more experience than I did." I lied. "Oh well, there's always next time right?" My voice came out unsure, almost as if I was trying to tell myself that there would be, even though my chances were slim to none.

Paul's mood suddenly eased up as he let out an exasperated sigh. "Of course there are."

I knew that that was the end of that conversation so I quickly asked, "So, what have you been doing while I was away darling?" I said raising my eyebrows.

Paul's face immediately dropped to a frown and shook his head. "Nothing. I moped around the house eating a tub of ice cream while watching The Notebook."

"For a week straight?" I said sarcastically. The smile I was trying to hide was beginning to form on my face. "That's horrible!" I put my hand over my heart in mock hurt.

His mouth started to break out into a smile. "I know, don't you feel bad for me?" He looked back and forth between me and the road as he gave me the notorious puppy eyes and pout.

I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed. "Not fair you're cheating! You know I didn't want to leave you," I said unfolding my arms and wrapping it around his neck. I gave him a small peck and gave him my signature "don't be mad at me" look.

He eventually gave up as he lowered his lips to mine and said, "Ugh, one of these days, I'll actually win." We both started laughing at each other's childish antics.

I scoffed and dropped my hands, intertwining my left with his right instead. "HAH! In your dreams lover boy."

I looked back out at the window as the scenery passed the big sign that said "Welcome to LaPush."

I was finally home.

**Wow it's finals week and the semester is almost coming to an end. Sorry for th late update 10-pg research papers and 30 chapter finals are killing me slowly! READ AND REVIEW PLEASEEE!!**


	3. Fearless

**A/N:** OMG! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in months! I already had writer's block and couldn't figure out what to do from here. But I have everything figured out and this story will have a lot, a lot of twists and turns it's gunna be crazyy!! Theres a lot of foreshadowing in this chapter and there is a reason why I put all these characters into my story they all have a very important role!! So pay attention. On to the story!!!!!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Twilight, boo.

Fearless: Taylor Swift

_"And I don't know how it gets better than this  
You take my hand and drag me head first  
Fearless. And I don't know why but with  
you I'd dance in a storm in my best dress  
Fearless."_

**Jaylene's POV**:

"Put these over here...and that over there." It was kind of sad how I was mumbling to myself while I began putting all my clothes away from my luggage. "And this..." I said holding up my makeup kit, "goes here." Done, done done!

As I threw myself on seat by my vanity, the picture tucked in at the corner of my mirror caught my eye. It was a picture of my mom, dad and I at First Beach when I was just 4--a year before the divorce. My father had me over his shoulders while my mother was laughing at us. I saw my father's piercing blue eyes look lovingly at my mother while her gaze continued to settle on me, smiling. I remember that day like it just happened yesterday. My parents were in love, that much I knew from the stories my grandfather told me.

It was love at first sight, my gramps would say. They accidentally bumped into each other at a supermarket in Seattle. My mother was rushing to get out while my father was rushing to get in and BAM! I would laugh at the way my grandpa would tell the story so elaborately. But my parents' love story were not always like the ones you read in a fairytale. My father was heir to the Matthews and Sons law firm, one of the most prestigious and powerful firms in the east coast. My mom, on the other hand, was just the Chief Elder's daughter in the small Indian reservation called LaPush. But she was smart, funny, and beautiful, and it was more than enough for my dad to ask her to marry him. Of course my grandpa and grandma from my dad's side completely disapproved of the idea. They thought my mother wasn't good enough for their son. But against all odds, my parents did marry and a year later had me.

Every time I'd hear my parent's story I would wonder what had gone wrong in their marriage? Sure they were young, being just 22 and already had a child but they fought for their love and 5 years later it was all over. Though I was young at the age of 4, I knew that my parents cared for each other it was obvious in their eyes. How can one year completely erase all the memories and love they had for each other?

"Jay?" My grandpa's voice filled my room. "You ready?"

My reminiscing was suddenly cut short as I looked away from the picture and into my grandpas light hazel eyes. He was leaning against my door frame, his thin lips formed a knowing smile, and I knew he had been watching me stare at the picture. I studied his figure and found his hair slicked back into a short low pony tail, while a white button down shirt hung loosely on his lean body and black dress pants.

"Ready for what..." I began to ask but the memory of New Years eve and a party suddenly hit me and my palm made contact with my forehead...rather hard I might add. "Ugh the party! Sorry gramps I was..." I trailed off looking at the picture.

"It's alright Jay," he said walking towards me and placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I know you wish she could be here. But you know how she is with work...and stuff." He shrugged.

I sighed and looked down at my hands. "I wish for a lot of things every year gramps. But no matter what," I looked up at him through my thick lashes, "mom will never be here whether I wish for it or not."

Fashion had always been my mother's dream but put it on hold when she had me. After the divorce, my mom threw herself into her work and eventually it paid off. She was now the most sought after couture designer in the fashion industry. Of course with that responsibility came with full day schedules, meetings that lasted hours, business trips all over the world and sometimes forgetting that you have a daughter. The most I'd see her is probably once a year, maybe twice if I'm lucky. My mother's way of making up for missed birthdays and graduations? Sending me money and thousands of dollars worth of clothing. Which explains my over stuffed walk-in closet. Though I was grateful for it, I couldn't help but feel a certain hatred towards my mother. I always felt like she abandoned me and stopped caring. She turned bitter and cold, the complete opposite of her once lively and cheery personality. Just the thought of my mother's absence throughout my life began to make my eyes water.

My grandpa sighed. "You know that she loves you right?"

HA! My mother? I highly doubt that. She can hardly call just to check if I was still alive. The only time she'd actually remember to call was if she was expecting a package or to tell me shes sending me a new pair of Jimmy Choos that were not even released to the public. No, not even a "How are you sweetie?" or a "I miss you so much," nope. I get a "Don't misplace my package" and a "I don't know when but maybe I'll see you soon."

I scoffed. "She wouldn't know what love was if it her in the back of the head." I took my eyeliner and mascara from my make-up kit and applied a small amount on my eyes.

"There are just some things that you wouldn't really understand. There is a reason for your mothers..." he trailed off, trying to look for the right words, "change in personality and behavior." He looked around my room unable to make any eye contact with me until his eyes rested on the floor. His fingers were tapping nervously against his side as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. "She can't let go of some things in the past and I can't blame her," he whispered almost inaudibly probably hoping I couldn't hear him.

I banged my make-up rather hard against the oak wood vanity causing my mirror to shake. I became furious. "You can't blame her?!" I got up from my chair causing my grandpa to take a few steps back. I looked directly at my grandpa, "Shes forgotten my birthdays, graduations, dance recitals, heartbreaks! She wasn't there when I needed her. What happened in that past that somehow managed to make my mother do a complete 360 and turn her into a heartless bitch?!"

I just came back yesterday and already I was getting into a fight with my grandpa. Every time our conversations landed on my mother, he would give me the same excuse 'She can't let go of the past.' I knew he was hiding something from me, I can see it when his eyes met mine.

"One of these, you'll understand," he answered defeated.

"I have to get ready before Aunt Sue freaks out," I said before walking over to my closet. I paused at the double doors and sighed. "I'm sorry gramps, it's just when it comes to mom I'd rather not--"

"I know and I'm sorry I even brought it up, I'll wait for you in the car." He walked out of my room, the sound of his footsteps echoing throughout the large and empty house.

My grandpa was my best friend and rock. He was always there for me when my father couldn't take me over the summer or my mom forgot about another birthday. He would always surround me with people that did care and love me. Which is why I was closer to the entire council members and saw them as my family. Gramps would take me with him to the bonfires and any meetings they had. That's where I got closer to Leah, Jared, Sam, and Paul.

I grew up with a silver spoon shoved down my throat. I had everything girls only dreamed of. A custom built three-story house over looking First beach in the far corner of the reservation, I have a car expensive enough to buy out the entire reservation...five times, my wardrobe only consisted of the latest designer clothes, and a house in at least six other states in the country. But I didn't want it...any of it. If giving up all those things meant having both of my parents around, I would gladly give it up. I was no where near a spoiled brat. I was grounded and humble when it came to the amount of money I had. I hated flashing it around and to those who really knew me knows that I live for the simple things in life.

I opened the double doors leading to my massive walk-in closet and reached for a dress; putting on a sheer white dress which had layers of ruffles going down a few inches above my knees, and a long black cardigan over it. I walked to the other side of my room and took a light beige belt and fastened it over my stomach. My black knee-high boots completed my outfit and I picked up my purse and made my way to my grandpas truck.

We sat in silence as I looked in the mirror and messed my hair up slightly, letting my natural loose curls fall over my shoulders. I looked decent enough.

The loud music and extravagant lights made it known that we finally made it to the Clearwaters' estate. Their house was just a story smaller than ours but it was big enough to house our annual New Year's party. Everyone from the reservation attended. And when I say everyone...I mean everyone.

I hopped out of the car and waited for my grandpa to walk in-step with me. "How mad do you think Aunt Sue will be?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I'm sure she'll get over it." He grinned and draped his arm over my shoulder.

Everyone on the reservation knew about Sue Clearwaters' impatience towards tardiness. It was her pet peeve, you could say. We were half way into the house before I heard a shrill to my right.

"What took you two so long?!" I immediately saw Aunt Sue's dark brown eyes narrowed on us. "An hour! An hour late!" She was wearing white dress pants and a glittery black top, a complete contrast to the red high heeled peep-toes on her feet.

I raised my hands up in surrender. "My fault! Totally forgot. Sorry," I mumbled.

She clicked her tongue and gave us both a tight hug. "Come on Will, Harry and Billy have been waiting for you. They say its 'urgent'." My grandpa just nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist and started to walk away.

"Oh honey! Leah and everyone are downstairs in the basement. Good luck though, she didn't seem too happy that you're late either," Aunt Sue said over her shoulders.

I sighed, like mother like daughter of course. I made my way through the massive crowd and said quite a few 'hellos' and 'how are you?' to everyone at the party. I passed the dining room and saw that it was filled with all types of food, drinks, and desserts. I stopped to grab a plate of pasta when I heard someone behind me.

"Well, well, well..."

I turned around to find Krista, my team mate on the dance team at school and also my best friend walking towards me. Like myself, she was also part Quiliete and her mahogany hair and light green eyes was an obvious give away, she understood me like no one else could. Her parents were also divorced, so I found an automatic connection with her.

I placed my plate on the table and made my way to her, giving her a hug. "Oh my gosh Kris I missed you!"

We both pulled away, examining each others attire. "Hm, well Miss Matthews the New York style has obviously hit you hard. I wish both my parents were billionaires like yours. Maybe my wardrobe wouldn't look like this." She pointed to her silver strapless dress with sequins along the bottom hem.

My purse made contact with her right arm. "Oh please, you look beautiful and besides, at least your parents don't forget your birthdays." We both walked back over to the buffet table as I took my plate of pasta and took a seat by the massive table overlooking the living room.

Groups upon groups of relatives were dancing to some old disco songs and some were sitting by the couches laughing at each others jokes and stories. I saw Seth Clearwater sitting at the edge of the large L-shaped sofa resting against the floor length window on the other side of the room. His face was glued to the game boy he had in his hands. I saw Old Quil holding a rather large plastic cup filled with some type of drink. With the way he stumbled across the living room floor, I could probably guess that it was alcohol. His son, Quil, and his friends Embry and Jacob Black were chasing after him, trying to grab the cup from his tight grip.

I started laughing at the site. "Oh, how was New York by the way?" Krista asked while taking a sip from the drink she had in her hand.

I took a fork-full of pasta and began chewing on it. "It was...good." I didn't want to explain how I rejected my early admission to Juilliard nor my father still not speaking to me so I changed the subject quickly. "How is the choreography for the homecoming game coming? The rest of the girls got it down?"

The homecoming game at LaPush High was one of the main events on the reservation. Our basketball team always went up against our rivals, Forks High. And every year the dance team would always present a routine worthy enough to be cheered and complimented on. This year Krista and I put together a routine which allowed us to have two separate routines instead one really long one: the first one would consist of a group dance, intricate choreography to the hottest music and the second consisted of each girl on the dance team to pick a guy on the basketball team, sit them down on a chair lined up across the basketball court and perform a dance for them. And the best part is that the players won't know until that night.

She nodded. "It's gunna be great. The entire basketball team will probably end up wetting themselves," she gushed.

Her comment made me start choking on my pasta, this only caused her to laugh and pat my back. I cleared my throat. "Thanks for almost killing me." I narrowed my eyes at her.

She smiled. "You're welcome butt munch. Anyway, we just need to pick out what were going to wear and choose which boys are paired up with who."

Since Paul and Ryan Hail, Krista's boyfriend, were on the basketball team we already knew who we were pairing up with. "Homecomings in a month, so we'll have more than enough time to choose partners."

"Kris!"

We both looked up to find Ryan coming towards us. "Ah, speaking of partners." Krista winked at me.

He stood beside her and gave her a small peck then turned to me and gave me a smile. "Hey Jay! Welcome back! Everyone's been looking for you," he said pointing towards the back of the house.

"Yeah I just wanted to get a bite to eat before Leah decided to kill me for being so late." I stood up and threw my plate in the garbage.

I saw that Ryan took my place next to Krista and had his arms wrapped around her waist. Their relationship was like ying and yang. Krista was the shy good girl while Ryan was such a rebel, he hardly listened to anyone, other than his girlfriend of course. After Ryan and I had our little fling I introduced him to Krista and it was history after that. "Oh yeah, I actually came over here cause Sam told me to see if you were here. Paul's on a rampage and about to beat that kid Jake to a pulp," he said nonchalantly tucking a small strand of hair behind Krista's ear.

I looked at him confused. "What happened?"

He shrugged. "Jake bumped into him and well you know how his temper is. You should really get to him, you're the only one who knows how to calm him down," he paused then began to shiver, "Paul scares me." Krista started laughing at her boyfriend.

I rolled my eyes at his failed attempt of being scared. "Shut up Ryan." I grabbed my purse from under his seat and began to walk towards the rear of the house. "I'll see you guys later!" I shouted over my shoulder.

Paul always had a temper even when he was younger. He easily got upset or angry if a person looked at him the wrong way or they did something he just didn't like. And for some reason no one, not even his mother would be able to calm him down, no one except me. So when Paul gets a little too out of hand and I wasn't around, they knew to stay away.

I passed by the second dining room and found all the elders on the council sitting in a circle talking away; even Old Quil looked like he sobered up. They all looked deep in conversation as I could barely make out their whispers, "He will be the first" "But that's impossible" "He will be the Alpha." Their conversation did not make sense at all so I shrugged it off and continued on to the next room.

It didn't take long to find Paul as I heard his voice shout out, "Learning to watch where you're going would actually help you out in life Black!" Each word dripping with anger.

I made my way to the kitchen and found a small crowd forming around the center of the massive kitchen. I found myself standing behind Paul, his fists were tightly balled at his sides and his body was completely tense. His usual calm face had been erased and replaced with a hard one. Sam had Leah behind him and Jared just stood by his side knowing that they were not going to win against Paul when he was this angry.

Leah was the first to see me as she took a half-step in my direction but I shook my head and held my hand up telling her to just stay where she was. Sam and Jared's eyes met mine next as I nodded telling them it was fine. I then looked at the boy standing in front of Paul and immediately felt bad for him. Paul easily towered over Jacob Black's lean frame. But Jacob showed no sign of apologizing as he held Paul's gaze and stood his ground. "I was watching where I was going, maybe if YOU paid attention it wouldn't have happened."

Gasps filled the kitchen as shock overtook me and everyone else in the crowd. People rarely spoke out against Paul and those who did wished they hadn't. Embry and Quil grabbed a hold of Jacob's arms as they tried to pull him away but were pushed away.

"Oh really?!" Paul asked moving a step forward and for a second I saw fear creep through Jacob's innocent brown eyes.

Jacob Black wasn't a bad kid. I grew up with him and his sisters but after the passing of his mother he grew distant and rarely hung around anymore. I didn't want him hurt, that much I knew so I took a step forward and grabbed Paul's forearm stopping him mid-stride. "Baby, stop please."

Paul stopped abruptly and turned to look at me, his face already softened. He turned to look at Jacob one more time before running towards the front of the house. The entire crowd looked relieved as they all began to walk away and back to what they were doing before. Jacob just stood there and continued to look at me. "How do you do that?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Do what?"

From the corner of my eye I saw Sam, Leah and Jared staring at me from across the kitchen. "Get him to listen to you just by saying three words?"

"I don't know." I shrugged. "It's a talent," I said giving him a smile. A lot of people asked me that question and every time I really couldn't give them an honest answer. Paul and I were friends since...birth pretty much. During the divorce I always found myself running away from home and go to Paul's house. He was my other half.

"Well thanks," he said smiling back. "I probably would have been killed if you didn't show up."

I laughed. "But you stood your ground, I give you credit for that Jake not many people do."

Embry then nudged Jacob catching his attention. "Oh uh, these are my friends Embry and Quil."

"No need for introductions, I know who you guys are," I said smiling at them. LaPush was not that big of a reservation so everyone knew each other. Embry and Quil were no exception especially since Quil's father was also part of the council and Embry's mother owned a shop on the res.

"You do?!" Embry asked excitedly taking a few steps towards me.

"If you know whats good for you, I'd back away from her." Embry stood frozen.

Sam's voice became authoritive and threatening. I turned around and found him hand in hand with Leah while Jared also began walking towards me. Overprotective much?! I sighed, crossed my arms and narrowed my eyes at him. "You're not being rude." Sarcasm dripping through my voice.

"I'm just looking out for him and his friends. If Paul came back here, he wouldn't be so forgiving." And of course Sam Uley is right, as always. The seven of us just stood there not saying anything. God, this isn't awkward.

"Well uh, it was nice talking to you for a little Jaylene. We'll see you later," Jacob said before turning and walking towards the glass door leading to the backyard, Embry trailing close behind him.

"Later!" Quil said finally speaking up for the first time and followed his friends outside.

I looked back at Sam and actually looked at him for the first time. "Jesus Sam. What the hell have you been eating?!" He was huge! I could see muscles under his olive green button down shirt and boy was he getting tall.

He shrugged. "I don't know really. Some weird growth spurt I think." Out of the 17 years that I've known him, this was definitely not a growth spurt. There must be something in the water.

"And I am not complaining," Leah added smirking at Sam which caused him to blush.

"Ewwwwwwwwww!" Jared and I both yelled out causing Sam and Leah to start laughing hysterically.

"Ugh, I'm gunna go find Paul, lets all meet up at the basement." They all agreed as I made my way to the front of the house.

I passed by all the rooms and still couldn't find him. I made my way up the stairs and down the long dark corridor.

"I'm sorry I overreacted back there," Paul said from behind me causing me to turn around just a tad bit too fast. I was waiting for the floor to make contact with my face but I felt arms wrap around my waist. "Are you sure you're a dancer?" he asked laughing at me.

I laughed with him and wrapped my arms around his neck giving him a small peck on the lips. "You're my hero but you're not forgiven since I'm not the one you should be apologizing to."

He sighed. "I'm not apologizing," he mumbled. Hard headed? Damn right he is.

I pulled away from him wanting to ask a question. "I know you well enough to know Jacob must have done something else other than bump into you to get you that pissed off." I ran my fingers through his short raven colored hair. "What else happened?"

He looked away. "I overheard him say something to his little friends," he said through clenched teeth. "And I didn't like it."

"You don't like a lot of things Paul. You wanna give me specifics?"

He sighed. "He said I don't deserve you because I'm an asshole."

I smiled. "If you were an asshole I obviously wouldn't be with you. You just have a very bad temper, that you really need to control. And I'll be the judge of whether or not you deserve me," I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissed him.

I pulled away first knowing that if I didn't I probably would have taken him right here on the narrow hallway. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said before giving me another kiss and intertwining our hands together. "Where is everyone?"

"Basement."

* * *

"...that I finally get a house of my own and ask Leah to move in with me." Sam finished off grinning widely at a blushing Leah.

"Awwww, how cute! I'm jealous," Jared said sarcastically.

"Shut it." Leah hissed.

Leah had the kindest heart in LaPush, she always put the feelings of others before her own and I guess thats why Sam fell in love with her so easily. Of course her beautiful, strong face and caring eyes helped too. But if someone pissed her off, she can easily go into bitch mode, which wasn't often but when it did...you did not want to be around her.

"Kidding Leah, sheesh. Your turn."

After the ball dropped Sam, Paul, Jared, Leah and I drove to my house for our yearly sleepover. It was tradition and it would remain that way for a long time. All our family's were still at the Clearwaters. Since we were all the children or the grand kids of all the chief elder's, having sleepovers together were never anything new. But this was the first time we were doing so without any chaperon around.

We were all discussing our New Year's resolution in my living room. The furniture's were moved around so that a big black cotton blanket laid on the white carpet with pillows surrounding the edges. Leah's head was resting on Sam's knee and mine was in Paul's. Jared was just lying on his stomach while taking bites of his apple.

"Hmm..." She paused for a second before continuing, "mine would be to move in with Sam and be able to lock you out the house whenever I want. Instead of you just barging in like you own the place."

Everyone started laughing. Jared was well known for just barging into people's houses and making himself comfortable. Not that anyone complained...much. But when Sue, Leah's mom, came home from work, to find Jared in his underwear walking around the house, she flipped out and told him he was banned from walking around half naked and could only come over if someone was actually home.

"Ugh don't remind me. Anyway, my turn." He took another bite of his apple. "My New Year's resolution is..." Jared trailed off thinking of an answer.

"To stop being such a man whore." I finished off for him watching the shocked expression on his face.

"Yeah alright, I'll stop being a man whore when your dad and mom stops making millions of dollars every year." He countered back. Touche Jared, touche.

"Funny. But seriously one of these days you're actually going to open your eyes like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time. And who knows," I shrugged, "maybe you might actually find your soul mate." I grabbed my soda and took a sip out of it as I watched Jared glare at me. "What? I'm just saying."

"Listen Jay, I'm sorry that girls worship the ground I walk on. If they're throwing themselves at me why would I be so rude as to deny them the pleasure?" he said rather confident and overly cocky.

I rolled my eyes. This is a conversation Jared and I would often find ourselves in numerous times. And sadly, I never came out victorious only because Jared was one of the most stubborn guys you will have the displeasure of meeting. He wouldn't be able to see a good girl even if she was throwing rocks at him--typical Jared. I can't wait for the day a girl comes along to tame him.

"Jackass," I mumbled while taking a chip from the bowl in the center of our circle and ate it.

"Okay guys cut it out," Sam ordered, "Paul, it's your turn." Ah, Sam. What is there to say about him but that he's the big brother God forgot to give me. Along with my grandpa he took on the role as one of the fatherly figures in my life, even if he was just a couple of years older than I was.

"My resolution would be..." He poked his chin thinking of an answer.

"To stop doing my girlfriend everywhere." Stupid Jared.

I blushed a crimson red thinking about the time he walked in on me and Paul while we were in the laundry room...at Jared's house. The look on his face when he opened the door was absolutely priceless.

Paul shot Jared a murderous look. "Oh get over it Jared, you act like we haven't walk in on you and your 'acquaintances.'" Oh god, can you say scarred for life?!

"Alright can everyone stop fighting!" Leah yelled. "Now, I wouldn't care if this is how you acted like 3 years ago but you guys are turning 18 and are acting like a bunch of kids. Get over it." She crossed her arms across her chest as Sam pulled her close him and kissed her temple relaxing instantly at his touch.

"Okay okay." Jared put his hands up in surrender. "We'll stop. It's your turn Jay."

I took another sip of my soda and let out a sigh. "I actually don't have a New Year's resolution, just wishes." Everyone looked at me confused.

"But you always have a resolution." Leah pointed out.

"Yeah but I thought I'd change it up a little bit." I looked around the room and they nodded, signaling me to go on. "I wish for this new year, nothing changes at all. I wish that Leah and Sam", I nodded to them, "stay as strong as they are now.

"I wish for Jared," I looked him in the eyes, "that you finally realize experiencing love is much better than having an orgasm every weekend." I giggled as did everyone else.

"And for us," I gazed at Paul, "that we can overcome anything that gets thrown our way." He smiled and gave me a small peck on the lips.

I looked around the room at my group of friends, my second family, as I finished my last wish. "And lastly, I wish that no matter what life has planned for us this year that we are able to get through it together." I grabbed my soda and raised in the air. "To us, because even if we can't stand each other at times were still there no matter what."

Everyone grabbed their soda and raised it in the air. "To the fantastic 4...and Jared," I said while laughing at the frown on his face. "Kidding!"

"To us." They all said in unison. Everyone took a sip and started laughing.

"That has got to be THE corniest thing we have ever done to date." Leah was holding her side as her and Sam had tears falling down their face.

"That's why we're friends girl!" I laughed along with the rest of them as we finished off our resolutions well into the night.

* * *

"Baby, you awake?" Paul whispered softly in my ear.

I blinked my eyes open and saw Jared sprawled across my couch snoring rather loudly and Sam and Leah were cuddled together a few feet away from us. I turned my body around so that I was face to face with him. "What's wrong?"

He gave me a small smile. "Nothing, I just wanted to show you something."

I looked over at the clock hanging above the TV in my living room and read 5:15 AM. "This early? Can't it wait till oh I don't know...in the afternoon?" I mumbled.

He chuckled softly as he brought his lips to my forehead, placing a tiny kiss on it. "Come on grumpy." He carried me bridal style while I was still wrapped up in the blanket we were sharing.

"Uhh, and we are going...?"

"To your room." He answered simply.

He carried me up the stairs and down the long hallway stopping all the way at the end, as he opened the double doors easily. Not bothering to turn on the lights, Paul opened the clear glass doors which led to my sun room. Instead of walls covering it from the outside, it was surrounded with clear glass so that you were able to look over the balcony without having to worry about the weather. He sat me in between his legs as he rested his chin on my shoulders.

He started fumbling through the pockets in his sweatpants and pulled out a tiny box. "I promise you that I'll stand by your side no matter what. That I will believe your word over anyone else, that I will be there to wipe away your tears even if I cause them at times. I will never hurt you and never leave you. You will always have my heart babe, and I promise you that I'll love you forever."

Tears were streaming down my face as he said those words. He opened the box to reveal a diamond encrusted ring and I gasped.

"It's a promise ring...for now." He smiled down at me as he took the ring and put it on my ring finger on my left hand. "And to show everyone that you're already mine." He smirked.

"I love you, more than you could ever know," I whispered.

His hold around my waist tightened. "I love you too." Was the last thing I heard before I started to drift off into a dreamless sleep.

There was no denying that I was in love with Paul, it was a given. But upon returning from New York, I've been feeling that our love would be tested and for the first time since we started dating, I didn't know if we were going to overcome them. I had doubts and I was scared. Little did I know that not only would our love be tested but the loyalty of my friends as well.

**Ring picture is in my profile! & No, Sam isn't a werewolf yet or any one else, but it's coming up soon!**

**REVIEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!**


	4. Changes

**A/N: **Two year hiatus! Ahh. I'm back and I will finish this story!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Twilight.

Landslide: Dixie Chicks

_"Well, I've been afraid of changin' _  
_'Cause I built my life around you _  
_But time makes you bolder"_

**Jaylenes POV:**

"No! No! No! No!" Krista shouted out pointing at one of the girls on the dance team. "Rhea, it's an eight count move not a seven. It can't be that hard to remember one simple step! What, did you forget how to count?!"

The small girl looked down at her feet and shook her head.

"Then what is the problem?" Krista screeched.

I looked at Krista in confusion never seeing her so harsh on any of the girls before. "Krista, that's enough!" I spat.

She looked at me with anger in her eyes but said nothing.

I looked towards my teammates; they were all sweating and panting from the four-hour practice we just went through. The home coming date had been pushed back two weeks earlier and we had less than a month to get everything in order. Unfortunately we had to move our practices to weekends since we were able to have the dance room for longer amounts of time.

"I think we've all had enough for today, lets go home!" I said to them as they all thanked me and quickly grabbed their things and ran out the door leaving me alone with Krista.

"Way to make me look like the bad guy, as always!" she said glaring daggers at me before grabbing her things and walked out.

I caught up to her and yanked her arm back forcing her to look at me. "What the hell is your problem Krista?"

She scoffed. "Like you don't know."

It had been a month and half into the last semester of our senior year and its been proving to be a difficult one. On top of our grueling dance practices every weekend, I had to be at the school everyday after the last bell rung due to the school play coming up a week right after the homecoming game. It just so happened that our teacher for drama class, which usually consisted of just reading Shakespeare and writing papers about it, decided it would be fun to actually play out Romeo and Juliet to the entire student body. And unfortunately, since I decided to show up late to class that day Juliet was the remaining role left.

"Krista, I don't know. You're not making any sense. I've never seen you act like this towards anyone especially not me. What's wrong?"

Still she said nothing. I began rubbing my head at the oncoming migraine I was starting to feel. Exhausted doesn't even come close to how I felt at this moment. I barely had anytime for myself juggling with schoolwork, a school play, a dance team to coach, and a boyfriend I hadn't spent time with other than lunch I was starting to loose my sanity.

"Ryan barely talks to me anymore," she whispered lowly, "He's too caught up in this stupid play and basketball practice he barely makes an effort anymore. I call in just to check up on him and he always says he doesn't have time. It's taking a toll on me Jaylene, it's taking a toll on us." Her green eyes became glassy and I knew it was only a matter of time before she started crying. "I don't mean to take it out on you Jay, it's just I'm jealous that you're the one who gets to spend time with him everyday after school because you're both the starting roles."

I caught her in a hug trying to soothe her. "I'm sorry Krista, Ryan hasn't told me anything. You know he loves you more than anything just hang in there. You know it hasn't been easy for Paul and me either. We can't go a day without fighting with each other and his temper has been getting too much for me to control and that's saying something."

She looked up at me. "I'm so sorry I didn't mean to add on to what you already have going on and I know it's been years since you and Ryan had a thing but maybe my insecurity has been making me more paranoid than usual. I know you would never do anything like that to me Jaylene."

I wiped her tears and gave her a smile. "Silly girl, what the hell is going through that mind of yours?"

She started laughing and I knew her anger had finally disappeared.

I checked my watch and saw that it was already 6pm, I had to be at First Beach in an hour for the bonfire and if I wanted to shower and change I had to leave now. "Just let me get my things and I'll drive you home, you don't need to call your mom."

"Thank you Jaylene."

* * *

An hour later and I was dressed in a thick pair of black leggings and an oversized knit sweater that hung loosely over my shoulder. I stuck my feet in a pair of tall brown boots and grabbed my jacket before meeting my Grandpa in the living room.

"Hey Gramps, I'm ready!"

He turned his head away from the TV and smiled. "Let's go kiddo."

I turned the radio on and flicked through the channels before my grandpa started talking to me. "So how was practice?"

I shook my head not really wanting to go into details. "It was long, too long. You know gramps I've been looking forward to my senior year forever now and I really wish I hadn't. I don't know how I'm juggling all the things I am right now and still standing."

My grandpa laughed. "Well Jay, you are taking what four AP classes? You know you should've taken an English class instead of Drama."

"Gramps, EVERYONE in La Push knows to take Drama their senior year, it's the easiest A you could possibly get! I mean who changes the tradition of reading Shakespeare for years to actually acting it out?! That seems a little unfair that it just had to be my senior year!"

If it hadn't been for Ryan and my friend Kim being in that class I would have easily dropped it the next day. But the excessive begging and groveling coming from the two of them just blew that idea out of the window.

He shook his head. "Jaylene since when have you ever taken the easy way out? You know that you took three AP classes your freshmen year when you didn't have to right? But no, you just had to push yourself and you did. You got through that semester like it was nothing. Whatever you have going on with school, your play, or the dance team, you'll get through them with no problem at all because that's just who you are. You don't give up on anything, no matter how hard it gets."

I smiled up at my grandpa. He knew me better than anyone on this earth ever did and for that I was grateful. Our relationship barely consisted of fighting because he just understood me without me even having to say a single word. "Thank you gramps, I really needed to hear that."

We pulled in next to the Clearwater's truck and started walking towards the beach. Immediately my eyes landed on Paul who was talking to Jared, they were both wearing sweatpants and an oversized jacket, if it wasn't for the different lengths in their hair you would think they were actually brothers.

"Jaylene!" Leah shouted breaking my gaze from Paul. I was immediately in a bone-crushing hug and for once I was really happy for it. "God, I missed you! What the hell!"

I laughed. "I missed you too. Holy crap I didn't think school was going to be this hard."

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah I already heard from Paul who hasn't stopped complaining to Sam about it."

"Oh geez, sorry." Just then Sam appeared behind Leah wrapping an arm around her waist. "Okay Sam, I know it's only been a month and half since I last saw you on New Years Eve but holy crap I think you got even bigger."

"I'll take that as a compliment," he said with a deep chuckle.

"Mom and Dad have been looking for you so go on and say hi," Leah said before taking Sam to greet my grandpa.

I walked over to all the older council members and greeted everyone with a smile before I felt arms wrap around my waist and I instantly broke out in a grin.

Paul planted a kiss on my temple before speaking. "Hey you."

I inhaled his scent before turning to him and giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Hi."

He grabbed my hand and sat himself on the sand, rather than the massive log by the bonfire. He pulled me down to sit in-between his legs and I pressed my back closer to his chest. For the first time in a long time I was finally relaxed laying on Paul without having to worry about anything. Of course that didn't last long once my phone began vibrating in my pocket.

"God damn it!" I grabbed the phone from my pocket and looked down at the ID noticing that it was my grandmother, from my dad's side.

Paul noticed me hesitate to answer. "Who is it?"

"My grandma," I said in a whisper.

"Oh," was all Paul said because he knew the type of woman she was. "Please don't answer it. I just really want to spend this night with you and I don't want your mood ruined because I know she does that to you."

I sighed. "You know I can't Paul."

Cordelia Matthews is the epitome of elegance and perfection. When she walked into a room she earned respect from whomever she walked by. She was well known around the socialite scene in New York with her husband owning one of the most successful law firms in the east coast everyone knew a Matthews whenever they saw one.

Our relationship was nothing short of tumultuous. Every year over the summer that I would visit, she would waste no time in taking me to $25,000-a-plate charity dinners or sit in the front-row of exclusive fashion designers revealing their summer line. It was the type of scene that I definitely did not want to be in but did for my dad's sake who wanted nothing more than for me to have a relationship with her like I did with my grandpa.

I stood up and walked away from the bonfire towards the woods. I already had a feeling I knew what this was going to be about and I didn't want Paul around to hear it. "Hey grandma," I said leaning against a large tree.

"Jaylene. I heard through your father that you declined the early acceptance to Julliard for this spring." Her tone was sharp and swift cutting straight to the point, there was no such thing as a 'how are you?' to this lady.

I winced back at her voice knowing that my night was not going to get any better talking to this woman. "Um, yes grandma."

"And why on earth would you throw away an opportunity like that? Did you tell Raymond about this decision? I hope he's been trying to talk you out of it."

I rolled my eyes as she said my grandpa's full name. "Grandma, the decision was mine entirely and he stands behind whatever I want to do."

She scoffed. "Of course he wouldn't try to change your mind, he's too passive with you. Always letting you do whatever you want without worrying of the consequences you face."

It took everything in me to not shout back at how much I loved my grandpa and hated her. Tell her how I was a straight A student who can juggle a boyfriend and two extra curricular activities on top of that. I hated how easily she judged my decisions, and me. She was the type of person who wanted to mold you to be exactly like her but I'd rather die than become anything like her.

"He's just trying to make me happy, there's nothing wrong with that." It took everything I had in me to not say what I wanted to say, I just wanted to hang up and go to the bonfire.

"Happy? How happy do you think you will be Jaylene once you've graduated high school and the only thing you have to look forward to is some community college?"

I said nothing because I knew nothing would make her see what I wanted her to see. She was too encased in her little bubble of money and social status to even understand what the meaning of happiness was.

"Since I know you deserve better than that I've pulled some strings with the dean of Julliard and they are holding your application so you can be accepted into the fall semester. No need to thank me, I just wanted what is best for my granddaughter."

I held the phone tight in my hand about ready to throw it against trees when I thought better of it and said the only thing that could rid me of my grandmother. "Thank you grandma."

"We'll that is all I called for so go on, I will speak to you some other time." And with that she hung up not even waiting for a response from me.

She was one of the main reasons why I decided to stay with my grandpa, as much as I know she meant well I just couldn't stand her controlling ways. 'Her way or no way' could have easily been her motto.

I checked the time on my phone and realized almost an hour had past by, so much for spending time with my boyfriend. I made my way back towards the bonfire and saw that my grandpa was almost finished with the story about Taha Aki and the Third Wife. I looked towards Paul as he sat with this legs crossed in front of him, he saw me walking towards him and made no move to changes his position. Instead he looked back towards my grandpa and slid over so I had room to sit between him and Leah.

I sighed and shook my head. He was mad at me and I knew he would be after he had been looking forward to this night to just relax with me. Instead I was too busy wasting my time with grandma. With the day I've had a fight between Paul and I was the last thing I wanted.

I plopped down next to Leah who gave me an apologetic smile before wrapping her arm around my shoulder and letting me lay my head on her lap. "Thank you," I whispered.

As Leah stroked my hair I started feeling the exhaustion of my long day and started feeling sleepy listening to my grandpa's voice. "The Third Wife was Taha Aki's imprint…" It was the last thing I heard before falling into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

"Come on Jay, it's time to go," Leah whispered stroking my hair again.

I looked up and didn't find Paul next to me so I scanned the crowd hoping to find him.

"He's talking to your grandpa, over there," Jared said appearing from behind me pointing towards the woods.

"He's mad at me isn't he?" I asked him already knowing the answer.

"He's just really frustrated right now Jay, I mean none of us has really hung out with you in a while. Even I miss you! I have no one to rant to about my girl problems."

I laughed. "Girl problems my ass." I looked at Jared then at Leah and Sam. "I'm sorry I haven't been around I'm just trying to survive this last semester."

Sam shook his head. "Jay, were behind you all the way. It's Paul you have to worry about."

Just then he appeared next to me. "I'm taking you home, we need to talk," was all he said as he walked towards the parking lot.

"I'll see you guys later," I said following Paul and gave them a small wave.

Getting in a car with Paul while he was angry was the last thing I wanted tonight but as we both slammed the car door I knew that it was inevitable with the ways things turned out. Paul suddenly took his jacket off revealing a tight black V-neck sweater, which clung on to every muscle in his upper body. For a second I forgot all about my worries and just stared at my boyfriend until he turned the car on and drove towards my house.

"Paul, please I'm sorry. I really don't want you mad at me," I begged knowing that I didn't have the energy to really fight back.

He sighed. "I'm tired Jay. I don't want to sound like a complete pussy but I barely see you anymore. The only times I do is right after rehearsal from school and all you do is come over my house and pass out next to me. Or it's during lunch but you're too busy talking to Ryan about the play and shit."

I sat there in silence just listening.

"I'm the one who's sitting by the fucking phone thinking maybe you'd call and say you 'll skip a day of rehearsal to see me. Or to just check up on me! How fucking pathetic do I sound?!"

"But you don't—" I started before being cut off.

"And now tonight, my first time seeing you in a couple of weeks and you wanna spend that time talking to your snobby grandmother who probably did nothing but shit on your life here thinking it's not good enough for you." His eyebrows were knitted together, his hands tightly gripped on the steering wheel not once glancing my way.

"Paul I'm really trying to balance everything out and I'm sorry if it seems like I'm neglecting you but please know that it's not easy. I just want you to understand."

"Understand what? I haven't said anything these past few weeks but I'm done being quiet. I fucking hate the amount of time you spend with Ryan. Whatever you guys had years ago is getting to me every time I see you two together. The way he fucking looks at you? It's the way he used to look at Krista but he barely notices her anymore."

I snapped my head towards him. "What the fuck are you talking about? We're friends, I would never do that to you or to Krista." It made me angry to even think he would hint it.

"You must be blind if you don't see it Jay."

"Nothing is happening between us. You sound just like fucking Krista. What, do you vent to her about me too because you're both repeating each other."

He scoffed. "I'd prefer talking to her than you at any time of the day. At least she listens."

His words stung and immediately I began to feel my eyes water. I was thankful that we were finally pulling into my block and he parked by my driveway.

I took off my seatbelt and opened my door not saying anything as I ran towards the door. I felt Paul's hand yank my arm back and turned me towards him.

"Fuck you," I said with tears streaming down my face. "Let go off me! I don't want to fucking see you or talk to you."

Paul said nothing as he let go of my arm and went back in his car and drove away. In a matter of a month and a half my life had turned upside down. My best friend thought that I would steal her boyfriend away and my boyfriend turned into an asshole that I didn't recognize. The tears began flowing down my face as I opened the front door, closing it behind me and falling to the floor.

At that moment, I didn't know what to do. I wanted to just scream at the top of my lungs and let all this stress and anger out. Instead I just walked towards the backyard and out into the woods following the small path I made that led towards my favorite spot on the reservation. I pushed through the leaves of a giant weeping willow and entered the end of a small cliff over-looking the far end of First Beach. My dad had found this place when I was younger and he would always take me here whenever I had trouble sleeping or I overheard another fight between him and my mom. He knew the sound of the waves pushing through the small rocks underneath would soothe me until I stopped crying.

I took in a deep breath of the fresh air around me instantly calming me. I laid down on the ground looking up at the stars remembering the times my dad would point out shapes. Though I saw my dad two months out of the year our relationship was a lot better than my non-existent mother. He always called in every chance he could between meetings and business trips. I was thankful that he called me on New Years apologizing for the way he acted towards me when I declined Julliard. I told him that I loved him for everything he did and I promised to make him proud one day.

"_You make me proud every single day Jaylene. The way you take care of your grandpa and everyone around you makes me see just how caring of a person you are. You always put others before yourself and I wish I were there every single day to witness it. But I hope you're also doing what makes you happy. That's all I really want for you."_

Thinking back to my dad's words just made me cry even more. As much as I tried to put up this façade in front of everyone, making it seem like I'm okay without my parents around, it still hurt. I wanted what Leah and Seth had with their parents and I wanted to see the type of love I saw in my grandpa's eyes every time he looked at my grandma when she was still alive. I wanted a normal up bringing with trips to the park and bedtime stories. But laying here on the ground alone, it was both stupid and impossible to want things to happen because I knew, nothing I ever wanted…happened.


End file.
